I told him a lie.
I don’t really know why.
But I did.

There really was no reason.
But I did anyway.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told him.

No that would have been lying too.
If I had told him sooner . . .
No it still would have been a lie.

I’ve never told him of this before.
I guess I’ve been lying for a long time.
Still he doesn’t know that I was.

But a lie it was none the less.
If I had told him at the start maybe . . .
No that . . . that was the truth.

It was about us just being friends.
That will never do.
It could never work.

I should have told him the truth.
I more than just love him.
I can’t live without him.

That’s really why I lied.
I can’t bear to push him away,
And I don’t trust him not to walk out.